How to get a child after a divorce
A family lawyer in his practice often works with problems that arise after the dissolution of a marriage. One of the most painful is the problem of communicating with a child after a divorce, when one of the parents begins to live separately.
Due to negative relationships, and often outright hatred, parents not only cannot peacefully agree on the time and place of meetings with the child, but also block the attempts of their ex to get in touch and talk. Moreover, often the parent with whom he stayed
child, puts psychological pressure on him and sets the child against the other parent.
The injustice is especially acute in situations where the father/mother regularly and conscientiously pays alimony for the child, sincerely wants to participate in his upbringing and tries to find a common language with the second parent, who, in turn, deliberately does not allow to see the child.
Each side deserves understanding and support, but parents, as mature individuals, must first of all think about the irreparable harm that restrictions in communication with a father or mother cause to a child.
Since there is still a tendency in Ukraine that after a divorce, children mostly stay with their mothers, there is an opinion that it is women who use children as a means of revenge on the former for all insults and unjustified hopes. However, the desire to manipulate the feelings of the former does not depend on gender. Unfortunately, both women and men resort to such cruelty.
The Family Code of Ukraine clearly states that the parent with whom the child lives does not have the right to prevent the parent who lives separately from communicating with the child and participating in his upbringing, provided that such communication does NOT harm the normal development of the child.
If it is not possible to agree peacefully, the law offers two mechanisms for resolving the issue of communication and participation in raising a child after a divorce:
• through the body of guardianship and guardianship
• through the court
Resolution of the dispute on participation in the upbringing of the child through the guardianship and guardianship authority
A father or mother can apply to the local guardianship and guardianship authority to determine how to participate in the upbringing of the child and communicate with him. The body of guardianship and guardianship examines the living conditions, attitude towards the child, employment, other characteristics and decides on the establishment of a schedule of meetings with the child.
Important! Such an application is submitted by the parent who lives separately from the child.
The decision to establish a schedule of meetings is binding.
If the parent with whom the child lives does not comply with the decision of the guardianship and guardianship authority, the other parent has the right to apply:
• to the court for compensation for material and moral damage
• to the body of guardianship and guardianship for a conversation with the other parent
• to the police to bring to administrative responsibility those who do not comply with such a decision
• to the court to eliminate obstacles in communication with the child
Resolution by the court of a dispute regarding participation in the upbringing of a child
The court is addressed if the parent with whom the child lives evades the decision of the guardianship and guardianship authority or otherwise prevents the parent who lives separately from communicating with the child and raising him.
Such barriers must be supported by appropriate evidence:
• testimonies of witnesses
• appeals to the body of guardianship and guardianship
• appeals to the police
• correspondence or other communication between parents
In judicial practice, there are requirements to remove obstacles in communicating with a child, to determine ways to participate in the upbringing of a child, and to transfer a child. There is no single algorithm or rule. It all depends on the circumstances of the particular case.
The court may determine the following ways of participation of one of the parents in the upbringing of the child:
• periodic or systematic meetings with the child possibly visiting the place of residence of one of the parents
• possibility of joint rest
• visit by the child to the place of residence of the father and the opportunity to stay overnight without the mother
• telephone and electronic communication with the child
This list is not exhaustive. Ways of participation in education can be clearly regulated or limited to the time of communication with the child.
When deciding such a case, the court takes into account the attitude of the parents to the performance of their duties, takes into account the personal attachment of the child to each of them, the age of the child and the state of his health. Of course, the state of mental health of each of the parents, the fact of abuse of alcoholic beverages or drugs plays an important role in such cases.
Despite the fact that disputes regarding the upbringing of children are painful for both parents, they often develop into a real war, in which the interests and desires of the child fade into the background.
Remember, when you part with a husband or wife, you cease to be spouses, but remain the parents of a common child.
Of course, a good lawyer will provide you with comprehensive advice, help you set a convenient communication schedule, get a court decision in your favor, and then the task is still up to you. After all, ensuring the best interests of your child is your moral duty and legal obligation.
Frequently asked questions and answers to them.
• How long does it take to remove barriers to raising a child?
As a rule, the duration of consideration of such cases ranges from several months and can reach several years.
• The court allowed meetings with the child in the presence of a psychologist. Is it legal?
Yes. Quite often, the court conditions the meeting with the child in the presence of another person: mother / father, another relative, psychologist or teacher. This is carried out in order to protect the interests of the child, to maintain his psychological comfort, due to the age of the child or a long absence of communication with the parent who lives separately.
• Can I go to court to decide how to communicate with my grandchildren?
Yes, you can. A dispute regarding the participation of a grandmother, grandfather, great-grandmother, great-grandfather, brothers, sisters, stepfather, stepmother in the upbringing of a child can be resolved in court.
• If, with the decision of the guardianship authority, I do not give the child to my ex-husband, can the police arrest me?
No, such actions are not punishable by arrest.
However, failure to comply with the decision of the guardianship and guardianship body on determining ways to participate in the upbringing of the child entails the imposition of a fine from one hundred to one hundred and fifty non-taxable minimum incomes of citizens. If the same actions are repeated within a year after the imposition of an administrative penalty, this entails the imposition of a fine from one hundred and fifty to three hundred non-taxable minimum incomes of citizens, a temporary restriction on the right to travel outside Ukraine and restrictions on the right to drive a car. Restrictions are valid until the execution of the decision in full.
Has the procedure for ensuring the participation of parents in the upbringing of a child changed due to the pandemic?
No, the legislation on this issue has not changed.
However, it is worth noting that due to quarantine restrictions, it has become more difficult to qualify the actions of parents as obstacles in communicating with the child. Indeed, on the one hand, such behavior of a mother or father can be explained by them as requirements for maintaining social distance or other anti-epidemic measures, as well as concern for the safety of the child. But on the other hand, the rights of a parent living separately to participate in the upbringing of a child should not be limited during such a period and can be implemented in compliance with WHO requirements.